comment on Nonlie's letter

Nonlie’s letter to her younger self on http://www.firstyearblood.blogspot.com/ reminded me of my letter to my younger self ,Ashness on http://fourhensandacock.blogspot.com/ in many ways. Like me, Nonlie also talks to her younger self about how her mind deviated from her purpose to be here because of the influence of alcohol and partying. While I give an example of “cane train” special at the union and Nonlie spoke about “southern comfort and lime at olde 65, both of us stressed on the same point of facing drastic consequences of having a,like Nonlie puts it,” hectic social life”. The drastic consequences that were faced by me , as I mentioned in my letter, are mostly the same as Nonlie such as working on assignments at the last moment and failing most of them, almost passing June exams but most importantly, not living up to our families’ expectations. In our letters, we question our younger selves to wake them up from their deep sleep and welcome to,as Nonlie says “reality”.
Much love sister
Ashness
http://fourhensandacock.blogspot.com/

Letter to my younger first year self

Dear Free Spirit

New beginnings come with new challenges and this year will be no different. Rather you will be faced with greater challenges that you are ready to face if you put your mind to it. One such great challenge is not as intimidating as you view it to be in your mind. You have always known that you are some what of an acquired taste to have as a friend and this is what makes you uniquely Angelina. It should never have been a topic for discussion in therapy making friends can be an intimidating task. Making friends, inner peace with your self , genuine happiness and that thirst for adventure are the characteristics that you have always possessed and need not lose at this new stage in your life.

Your fear of not fitting-in and being isolated to only your thoughts as company does not have to be a constant reality. Discovering new people does not mean forgetting who you are. It is difficult for you to trust people but fear only holds you back from some of the best relationships you will nature during the cause of this year. When doubt leaps over your thoughts about the pleasure that you are to others remember always the friends in your heart , people who make a pleasant difference during this journey called life. Once you have distinguished the people that love and genuinely care for you, your first year becomes more exciting and memories that you will cherish for years to come will be created. I still cringe at the sexual freedom exhibited by some of the students at the OutRhodes parties , our own then SRC president parading half naked at the Old Goal this was his alter ego which was the theme of that particular party. You will soon learn to enjoy and never miss any such parties in the future.

Expand your horizons and try new things go to places and events you usually would not , engage in broader conversations even with strangers and develop a relationship with your course work. All these will provide you with a better sense of belonging and enjoying the time you will be spending here at University.

Love always
Angelina Ballerina

Jessy

My Dearest Jessy

How have you been keeping? Still as stubborn as ever? I hope things are well. I just thought I would write you on my experience of First Year at Rhodes as I know you will be in my same situation next year. I really hope you will take my advice into consideration.

Do you remember how we used to be the popular best friends at school? We had all the friends in the world! We were invited to all the ‘cool’ parties, always had the hottest boyfriends and were always with the latest trends. Rhodes is very different from school. There aren’t many rules, no one tells you what to do and there are THOUSANDS of other students. You must not think for these reasons it’s easy to make friends - it’s not! Especially when you live at home with your parents like me, and like you will too next year.

By living at home you are very restricted with curfews, chores and all the hassle and noise of a family that irritates you very quickly seeing as you’ve already lived with them for 18 years of your life! You need to remember that in order to make friends you need to be a friend first, and friends are an essential at university. Your parents will have taught you how to grow up but it is your friends who mould you, who teach you about love and life and whom you can share absolutely anything with.

You need to remember that life isn’t easy. You no longer get ‘spoon-fed’ at university. When times get tough you have to push through with your head held high. Be as outgoing and spontaneous as you already are. Talk to people. Laugh about things with people. Find a balance between work and play. You should make friends quickly but just in case you don’t make any concrete ones, don’t stop trying. Be yourself, enjoy life and make the most of your opportunities. I hope you take my advice to heart. See you next year!

Forever friends
Jess
xx

Ashness

Dear my Ashness

You never wore a watch because you didn’t want time to control you but time still enslaved you,ashness! You never found the time to live , you only survived every moment of your life. Your older self says because you are always rushing to somewhere or doing an assignment just an hour before its due.First year at Rhodes not only brings along with it “pre-drinks”, “crackling”, “random hook-ups” and “worst hangovers” but also “assignments” “pressure to get into JOURN2”,”referencing” and “drama rehearsals”. Looks like you realized the latter a bit too late! How could you not have struck the right balance,ashness? A kilometre away, some less fortunate matric student must be working day and night to get to where you are. And you just exploited this opportunity and lost your intellectuality down the “crackling” drain. Forgot the promise to make mommy and papa proud already? You are not the you your older self knew. You are not happy and you don’t realize that. The simple down-to-earth girl who used to sit with her mommy,watch “soapies” and gossip about the characters in the soapies has now turned into one of the characters in the soapie herself– fake and ugly.And is just as gossiped about. Was it the “cane-train” special at the union every Wednesday or the “10 rand draught” at the rat every Tuesday ,that led to your radical transformation? Maybe it was neither,maybe you were in love with the idea of letting go in first year and maybe in the process of letting go,you let go a bit too much.So Ashness, STOP! Stop chasing life, live it. By making the best of your potential, you can control time again.You can be happy again.

You know u love me and I love you
xoxox

Letter...

Dear young one,

A great journey lies ahead of you. It will not be easy, but the path to university will be filled with challenges and experiences that will allow you to grow and become strong. Do not fear leaving home, Rhodes will be everything you want it to be – more, if you let it. This university is a remarkable place, soon after arriving; you will feel more at home than you have ever felt before. It may not be easy in the beginning, but Rhodes and the town it belongs to will soon become as much a part of you as you will of it. This next bit is going to sound quite old and tired, but bear with me – I promise it will be worth it. Always remember that you should never change who you to impress others. You will find that you will make the most amazing set of friends just by being who you are. Your first year at Rhodes will be the best year of your life, you will discover things about yourself that you never thought existed, you will grow and change and realise that you are so much stronger and interesting than you ever thought you were. Mostly, you will learn and you will add incredible experiences to your memories. Remember that happiness is key, do the things that will make you happy – well, to a degree, going to lectures is strongly advised – if you do this then you will take the best memories away with you.

I wish you luck and strength for the things that will soon come,

Love your older counterpart